what's in the middle

Sigh. Was talking to some one the other night and I just realized that I’ve not had myself a proper break since high school.

Right after SPM, I joined the first MUFY intake where I was on a 9am til 5pm schedule. My fault cos I decided to hero and take 5 subjects, forgetting the fact that I had LAN subjects to complete. Nevetheless, no regrets - I took all the subjects I wanted and needed and I loved every bit of it.

During my second semester, I decided to drop one and keep it to 4 subjects. And then I tried to be a hero again and got myself a job at Chilis. That was hectic. Boy was I exhausted but somehow despite all the procrastination, I think it only pushed me to work harder and organize my time properly.

After MUFY, I continued working with Chilis - where I found myself in a 24/7 bad mood. If you really want to test your patience, I would really suggest you try working under F&B. Working at Chilis really opened my eyes though. I got to know people I would have otherwise never gotten to know and it showed me how lucky I was and how I should probably stop procrastinating so much. I haven’t reminded myself a lot about that lately, I probably should - re-realize again. 

I worked at Chilis on pretty much a fulltime schedule til about a week before getting into Uni. And Jesus Christ - uni has made me feel asthough working while studying was a walk in the park.

I did manage to get my some time during the winter break in June/July. But I remember just being cooked up at home watching movies after movies after movies. 

I feel somewhat reluctant to get a job. I mean, I haven’t even had the time to get my license for God’s sake. I should probably really get my license and I don’t see when else I will get the chance to if not. But at the same time, I really do need a job. Going out nowadays even without drinking seems to be ridiculously expensive.

Yaya boohoo. So hard your life Leanne - dah la on holiday wanna procrastinate somemore. But I just feel like I haven’t had much time for me. I want to be able to sit down and read a book with a good cup of coffee. I also wanna go out with friends and meet people who I’ve not seen in ages cos I’m always busy. I just feel so bad for putting off so so many people simply because I’m always studying or probably in this case broke. I know people are slowly growing tired of my constant inability to make time for anyone. 

This post was stupid. I don’t think anyone has even bothered reading but I am in a closed loop. I need a job cos I need the money and so I guess I am just going to need to prioritize better.