what's in the middle

Feeling like I’m trapped in a box that is half my size. Can’t help but wonder when all this is going to end. 

Being completely aware that good things come in time I know I have to be patient. But it makes me wonder if it is ever going to come. Everything for as long as I can remember now has been in a downward spiral for me. Sure it has it moments when it stops and I am momentarily tricked into believing that I have a new better brighter path to go on to. But it comes and it goes just as fast as Kim Kardashian’s marriage and I am back to where I left off.

I simply refuse to sit around expecting and waiting for things to come. I know that that was never a good idea to begin with but I reckon it’s time I spend time making myself feel good again. 

Not that I don’t already spend enough time with myself but it’s usually just study study study. I want to be able to wake up and feel good about myself. To be able to go out looking and feeling good. I want to spend time with all the people in my life and I want to read a book. Wtf. Random but I really usually don’t have the time to actually sit down and read a book.

I am tired of sitting around scratching on my own wounds and digging my grave a little more deeper than it already is. I am going to build back what I initially built and you know what fuck you it’s going to be bigger better and greater than before.

Other than that, I would also like to go for a nice silent retreat. If any sponsors are reading wtf then you know what to do T__T